The Freshgravy Gravy Blog

I just sat through my first Earthquake. Exciting! Black is all puffed up and creeping around like the place is full of ghosts.

The news has a runner that says “Items falling from shelves in Pomona!” I guess that’s why they call it “breaking news.” Hohahohayesyes.

It was a 5.4.

Now I know what the ladies feel when I kiss them. Bam!

Here’s a little cheese for you: The Universe works if you let it. If you hold on, have a little faith, persevere and keep moving forward, the Universe will work for you. You’ll make it. You’ll get there.

There’s a whole lot of awesome going on every day. Some of it we are part of, some of it we just know about but it’s out there just the same. Embrace the awesome in others and you’ll find you’re getting a little bit of awesome yourself.

This was a great, hard, extraordinary week for some people I know. Painful. Frightening. Joyful. Lots of outstanding marks on the calendars. Extra journal entires. Cell phone bills rolling across the floor.

And we are all better now than we were seven days ago.

Don’t try to figure it out. Just stop and list the awesome going on around you and make that what you wake up with tomorrow.

Pop mag Rolling Stone just put out its “100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time.” (RS #1054)

This is the guitar equivalent of Teen Beat releasing their “Greatest Actor’s” list.

I’d list my top 100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time but it would melt your computer and impregnate your sister.

Alright, I’m hooked. Twenty or so viewings later, I like this Constantine movie. The story, the characters, the world of the movie, it’s got it all. Big, crazy, audacious afterlife fun and games. I love it.

Plus, Hell looks like what we think Hell would look like (the LA freeway on fire).

Now take it easy, Ted. I understand this is going to be filed under “guilty pleasures” (along with Riddick, Winger and late night AM radio) but guilty pleasure is what Living in the Valley is all about (later I’m going out for milkshakes and porn).

By the way, the big question on late night AM radio:
How do we stop the Chinese from going to the moon?
Damn right! Keep the moon red white and blue (cheese?…hm? Too much?)

So go ahead, ostricize me. Taunt me on the bus. Point and say “There’s the one. That’s him. He’s the guy who likes that Constantine movie.” But just know that while I did treat myself to a mid-quarter purchase of the two disc set

I will not be changing my screensaver, dressing up for the convention, or buying any of this type thing:

I’m in grad school, not jerk school.

I’m in grad school, people. So I don’t need you telling me I don’t have time to watch movies. It’s what I’m supposed to do. My current story involves the afterlife and dying and Emily Trillions. I love Emily Trillions!

Anyway, when I think afterlife, I think Keanu so I watched Constantine.
I remember thinking it was not as good as I wanted it to be the first time I saw it but upon second viewing, I have to admit, I’m sold.

Now hold on there, Brad. I understand this isn’t the greatest movie ever made. It’s fun. And that’s what movies are supposed to be. You can watch your agenda flicks with the talk talking blah blah. I’ll be watching the dude from The Matrix summon The Angel Gabriel with a tattoo on his arm.

Anyway, here’s the Amazon Rundown for Constantine:

Based on the DC Comics/Vertigo Hellblazer graphic novels and written by Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello Constantine tells the story of John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) a man who has literally been to hell and back. When he teams up with skeptical policewoman Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of otherworldly events the two become inextricably involved and seek to find their own peace at whatever cost.

That’s all fine and good but right now I can’t really think about plot. I’m too busy asking myself how did they make Hell look so real?

and why don’t I know any pretty women with guns?

Or, more accurately, who do all the pretty women with guns I know always point said guns at me?

This just came across the wire.

< <<<>>>>>>>

Please discard all old words

You’d better do it too. There’s an election coming up.

I’m blogging about the Oscars! (Instead of writing my screenplay.)

5:00 pm - I wonder how long it will be before somebody says “bitch” or “ass.”

5:15 pm - John Stewart didn’t say it.

5:56 pm - It’s funny that there’s a Make-up category but there isn’t an award for Acting Coach, Psychotherapy or Boob Implantation. “And the Oscar for best breasts goes to…”

5:59 pm - Musical theater is there to remind us that suicide is serious business and we shouldn’t judge, we should help.

6:07 pm - Still no “bitch” or “ass.”

6:48 pm - Ha! No Country for Old Men scores again! Let’s have a frozen pizza.

7:30 pm - Still looking for that “bitch” or “ass.”

7:55 pm - Deep Purple selling cars. Well, I guess there are worst things.

7:58 pm - John Stewart is awesome. He let that pretty woman come back and talk.

8:25 pm - Aw. They gave it to the stripper.

8:35 pm - I abandoned my son! I abandoned my son! I abandoned my boy!

8:45 pm - No Country, people. Know that.

8:46 pm - Denzell is so damn fresh.

8:46 pm - You hear the sound of a broom? We call that The No Country Sweep.

8:50 pm - Well, not exactly a sweep. But pretty damn close. Well, I want to thank everybody for coming out. It’s been a great night. I was on page 76 at 5:00 and now I’m on page 81. Not exactly procrastination, not exactly super productive. Somewhere in between. We’ll say I was procrastive.

And congratulations to John Stewart. He brought us in under four hours. And even though I didn’t get my “bitch” or my “ass,” I did get to see Amy Adams. And that’s never bad.

THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE

Domestic Total as of Feb. 10, 2008: $27,696

Think about that.

Mine is. My strike against COMEDY.

I just failed out of UCLA. My teachers are a bunch of scabs!